I am better than you

Now that I am firmly located in middle class and moving up through the ranks of society I have decided to kick it up a notch.

In fact I already have.

Before I get started however I just hope that I don’t alienate a large section of our readership as they may feel, once I drop this bombshell, that they can no longer relate to me or those I associate with. Although there has been a major shift in my life and I am now better than you, I can still relate to you because at one time I was as poor, pathetic, and as broke as you.

Everything has changed however as I am now the new proud owner of the incredible, technologically advanced, Crest Spinbrush Pro!

What does this mean? I’ll tell you what it means. It means I dropped $6.58 of cold hard Canadian cash (plus tax) at my local Walmart. By local I mean a good 20 minutes away at some huge shopping mall with lots of parking for singles driving the biggest vehicles know to man. Although my vehicle isn’t that big it has a hefty turbo on it so rest assured I too am burning gas like crazy.

So unlike the rest of you plebs I have the honor of sticking a vibrating, girating, double A battery powered, beacon of modern technology in my mouth twice daily. If you are one of these people that enjoys handling a remote you need a Spinbrush Pro. I do the happy dance every morning. When I start brushing, and by brushing I mean ‘Spinbrushing’, I walk around my house, stand in front of the window, check for a paper outside even though we have no subscription….

Bottom line: I want the whole world to know I am now superior.

For those of you interested in the Spinbrush Pro or the Spinbrush enthusiast club of North America please contact your local chapter.

PS: I have no idea if my teeth are cleaner; that is however not the point.